Amazon's Billion-Dollar Scam

Unveiled by the U.S. Federal Trade Commission, Amazon's covert shenanigans cost American consumers a staggering $1 billion.

This comes from an inconspicuous algorithm - cheekily dubbed 'Project Nessie' - which inflated prices of specific products, betting on competitors following suit.

Amazon, notorious for its colossal online inventory boasting a billion items, predicted and exploited competitors' price tracking practices.

'Project Nessie,' was nothing short of an ingenious cash cow, transforming unsuspecting customers into single-handed contributors to an exorbitant $1 billion in profit.

Despite grand claims of "mischaracterization," Amazon's own spokesperson confirmed the existence of 'Nessie.'

Apparently, it was born out of the desire to thwart unusual pricing outcomes.

The craftiness doesn't end there. Amazon cleverly halted 'Nessie' during heightened public scrutiny, like during Prime Day sales and holiday shopping seasons.

However, no sooner did the spotlight dim, Amazon resurrected its deceptive 'Nessie,' running it with renewed vigor to rake in the bucks.

Sly maneuvers extended even in Amazon's dealings with its own sellers. The company allegedly insisted on sellers under Prime to utilize its delivery services, irrespective of alternative affordable options.

This led to an increase in average fees for sellers from 27% in 2014 to 39.5% in 2018.

To cap it all off, Amazon appears to have developed a penchant for disappearing messages, destroying pivotal corporate communications from mid-2019 to early 2022. Quite the vanishing act, wouldn't you say?

Hats off to 'Project Nessie,' you've made some e-commerce Loch Ness Monster-level waves!

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Apple's Profits Sink

Apple enjoyed a successful third quarter, outperforming Wall Street estimates despite an overall decline in annual profit.

The tech titan swept past projections with a whopping $89.5 billion in total revenue and $1.47 earnings per share.

This success extended to iPhone sales and the services unit revenues, as they also surpassed forecasted numbers.

But not all is rosy in the Apple orchard. The company saw a 6% year-over-year drop in quarterly sales mainly due to a 34% plunge in Macbook sales.

Moreover, the Silicon Valley superstar's net profit for the fiscal year ending in September tumbled by 2.8% settling at $97 billion.

Despite these setbacks, Apple plans to distribute a quarterly dividend of $0.24 per share, sticking to its previous payout scheme.

Post publication of its earnings report, Apple shares nosedived by 2% in late trading, from a pre-publication jump of 2%.

With a weaker dollar, cautious consumer spending, iPhone 15 supply shortages, and a shorter fiscal quarter, the road ahead looks as rocky as a cliffside path in a thunderstorm. Here's to hoping their next iPhone doesn't need to come with a complimentary tissue box.

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Law Firms Badger Harvard, Yale Over Rising Campus Antisemitism

In a groundbreaking twist, over two dozen top US law firms have ganged up on Ivy League heavyweights, Harvard and Yale.

Armed with a strongly worded letter, they're demanding the law school deans to take an inflexible anti-antisemitism stance on campus.

The companies, including the titans like Gibson Dunn & Crutcher LLP and Cravath, Swaine & Moore LLP, are issuing their ultimatums in response to some law students losing job offers.

These students made distasteful comments about October's terror attack by Hamas that resulted in the death of 1,400 Israelis.

The situation has escalated, leading to nationwide protests sparked by Israel's counter-bombing in Hamas-controlled Gaza.

Let's see just who will uphold justice - the law firms seeking to prosecute hate speech or the campus community's insistence on free speech.

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Musk’s Starlink is Soaring High

In a stellar announcement, tech mogul Elon Musk declared that his space-age internet service, Starlink, has finally reached breakeven cash flow.

The grand revelation came just a few months after the enterprise massively boosted its income but narrowly missed the overambitious target set by Musk.

Starlink, a brainchild of SpaceX, generated a whopping $1.4 billion in 2022, over a billion dollars more than the preceding year.

The company now boasts an impressive array of active satellites, with plans to launch even more in the coming year.

Proudly labeling itself the "world's first and largest satellite constellation," Starlink offers broadband internet through a large network of low Earth orbit satellites.

While the innovative service has done wonders for the company's valuation, it seems Musk's audacious subscriber target was far-fetched.

Although it caters to over a million active users, Musk ambitiously envisioned a user base of 20 million back in 2015.

Starlink has emerged as a savior in rural regions and war-torn areas with sketchy communication like Ukraine.

The taper-off from Musk's dream of 20 million subscribers to a modest one million surely shows that the space baron needs a reality check on his high-flying ambitions.

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